


Songbird

by Coolio101



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character study? Sort of, Gen, and her relationships to those around her, and who learns to find strength in herself instead of a boy, basically I just wanted to add some depth to Hinata's character, featuring a Hinata who gets into fuuinjutsu, only keeping the parts of canon I like, so all my knowledge is fandom based, warning: I have never actually watched a single episode of Naruto, written bc I was salty about the lack of Hinata-centric fics out there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coolio101/pseuds/Coolio101
Summary: In which Hyuuga Hinata sets out to prove that there is strength in being soft.
Comments: 73
Kudos: 193





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because I was tired of the lack of fics with Hinata as a main character instead of a love interest

Hyuuga Hinata has always been able to see more than the average person.

She looks at the loudmouthed blond haired boy in her class, who talks too much, smiles too widely, dresses too brightly, the way he’s so _desperate_ to be seen (and she wants to go up to him and tell him _I see you, I do, even if no one else does I see you_ ). She also sees the careful planning in each and every one of his pranks, his creativity in the jutsus he makes (10 years old and he’s already figured out a way to create a modified, functional version of the henge), his strength in every taijutsu class (not in the way he wins, because he doesn’t. But in the way he always gets back up after a fall). And when he declares to the world he’s going to be Hokage one day, she looks at him and thinks _I believe you._

* * *

She’s a disappointment to her father, she knows. She’s not tough the way he wants, _cold_ the way he wants, and he doesn’t understand why, despite everything– the beatings, threats, bruises verging on broken bones– she still remains soft. Her sister asks her the same thing in a bitter, angry voice, why she holds back in their spars (doesn’t she respect her enough to go all out? Hanabi will show her no mercy, they both know that– why can’t Hinata do the same?)

 _Why do I hold back?_ Hinata thinks and looks at her sister, past the hardened, angry girl in front of her to the lonely child underneath, the one who’s never known a parent’s gentleness (and say what you want about Hinata’s life now, but at least she remembers her mother’s soft hands and voice. She remembers what their father was like before their mother died). _Because you need me to._

* * *

She looks at herself in the mirror and she sees what everyone else sees. Someone soft. Weak. A disappointment to the Hyuuga clan in every sense of the word. She refuses to be ashamed of that though, because her mother was that way too, and she refuses to be ashamed of the only person who has ever loved her for herself (she thinks her father still loves her, even now, but he loves her as a father loves his daughter, he loves her because it’s his _duty_ to…he doesn’t love her as Hinata, no matter how much she might wish otherwise.)

* * *

Neji looks at her with hatred now and she feels awful. Sometimes she looks at Neji and sees a ghost of someone else– a boy with a soft smile on his face and an unmarked forehead, someone _free_ – and she feels worse.

* * *

Sometimes she looks at her family and wonders how a person can have the best vision in the world and still be unable to _see_. Maybe that’s the reason. Maybe they’re so focused on looking that they forget to consider what their eyes are telling them. 

She yawns delicately, bringing one hand up to her lips, and sets aside the scroll she was reading on some rather complicated Main House Juuken forms. _Time to go to bed,_ she decides, and exits the room. The scroll will still be there tomorrow morning, after all. 

An hour later, she peers back inside the room and has to suppress a smile when she finds the scroll gone. 

(During the chuunin exams, when Neji shocks the world by doing what he was always capable of doing, she looks at her father– lips pressed tightly together, eyes wide, face pale with shock– and wonders, _when did you become so blind?_ )

* * *

“Welcome to Team 8!” Kurenai-sensei says warmly. “How about we all go around and introduce ourselves? Likes, dislikes, what you want to learn, that kind of thing.”

Kiba goes first, because he’s Kiba. He likes Akamaru (Hinata thinks that rather goes without saying, but they’re ninja– saying things without giving anything personal or that isn’t already common knowledge away is a basic ninja skill), he dislikes anyone who hurts Akamaru, and he wants to learn how to become a kickass ninja. 

Shino goes next. He likes bugs, dislikes anyone who’s cruel to bugs, and wants to build upon his current skillset to become a well-rounded ninja (another answer that gives nothing away).

Then all eyes turn to her.

“I, um,” Hinata stammers, feeling her cheeks heat up. She’s never been good at being the center of attention. “I s-suppose I like pressing flowers.” So far so good. “I dislike spicy food. As f-for w-what I want to learn…” She pauses. She knows the expected answer from her– _I want to learn how to become a better ninja, I want to improve my taijutsu, I want to master my clan techniques_ – but there’s a better answer and she has to begin being honest somewhere. Her team seems like a good place to start. “I want to become a fuuinjutsu master.”


	2. Chapter 2

Neji first learns _fate_ at the age of four, when he is branded a slave by his own uncle. He learns _cruelty_ the first time he sees his father fall to the floor in agony, clutching his head, eyes bulging out and face contorted in pain. He learns _injustice_ when his father pays for his uncle’s mistake with his life.

* * *

He knows, logically, that Hinata is not at fault for his father’s death. She was but a toddler at the time of the kidnapping and stood no chance against Kumo’s head ninja. She played no role in the clan’s decision to send in Hizashi’s head in place of Hiashi’s. Even so, every time he looks at her, he cannot help but think, _had it not been for you, had you not existed, had you never been born, my father would still be alive._

* * *

She asks about Hizashi for weeks afterwards, too young to understand that her uncle is never coming back. Every time she does, it’s all Neji can do to stop himself from shaking her until she understands that _no, Hizashi’s not coming back, he’s never coming back,_ he’s dead _, do you understand that, my father is dead and it’s all your fault--!_

It takes months for her to stop following him around like a lost puppy, constantly talking to him and asking him to play as if nothing’s changed, as if he doesn’t have a cursed seal branded on his forehead to remind him every time he looks in a mirror that it is his _destiny_ to serve, as if his father didn’t die for hers. Eventually he snaps, slams her into a wall and unleashes every poisonous, bitter word he’s been holding in for the past three months.

One moment he’s yelling at her to leave him alone, that he doesn’t want her around, that he wishes she’d just go and _die_ already and the next, he’s on the ground. The pain is so intense he doesn’t even register it at first but then it hits and he’s screaming so loudly he can feel his vocal cords tear, every nerve alit with agony—

“Stop it! Stop it, you’re hurting him! Father, _please_!”

\--and just as suddenly the pain stops. He takes in huge, gasping breaths, and manages to regain enough control over his muscles to sit up. Hinata is clutching her father’s arm and it’s obvious she’s been crying. He looks at her and can feel nothing but disdain.

 _Weak,_ he thinks as Hinata flinches away, unable to meet his gaze.

She doesn’t bother him again after that.

* * *

Hyuuga Hanabi is born at the end of March, following a long, difficult pregnancy. Two months after that, Hyuuga Suzume passes away and in the wake of her death, Hiashi becomes colder than ever. Hinata…fades away into the background. She shrinks in on herself, stops speaking, makes herself small, makes herself forgettable. There are times where she seems more ghost than human and if he bothered to think about her, he would find it almost impressive the way she has managed to make herself invisible in a clan of Byakugan users.

(He ignores the voice in the back of his head that says his father would have wanted him to reach out, to look after her. His father was dead. What did he know?)

* * *

By the time Hanabi is six, Hinata is eleven, and Neji is twelve, the clan has already deemed Hinata a failure. Neji agrees, although not quite for the same reasons. Hinata is weak—but not because she lacks talent or intelligence or endurance. She is weak because she sees openings but does not take them, she hesitates when opportunities to do damage arise, and she is soft when she should be hard instead.

He finds her in the training room after one particularly grueling training session with Hanabi, bandaging her wounds. She stiffens the moment he enters, instantly aware of his presence.

“N-Neji-niisan.” She stammers, looking down at the ground. “W-What c-can I d-do for you?”

Truthfully, he’s not sure why he approached her. He tells himself it’s out of boredom, because it’s easier that way.

“Earlier today, Hanabi made a mistake. She was caught-off balance for a split second—you could have ended the match then, if you’d chosen to. You didn’t. Why?” He asks. Hinata looks away.

“I d-didn’t notice—”

“Don’t lie to me,” he says coldly. “You could have won. Why didn’t you?”

Hinata doesn’t say anything for a long moment.

“Because I-I d-didn’t want her t-to g-get hurt. Is…is that not enough?” She asks, voice so quiet Neji has to strain to hear it. “I-If she l-lost that match, she would’ve b-been p-punished for it.” Subconsciously, her hand drifts towards her ribs. “I d-didn’t want that t-to happen.”

“And so you took her punishment instead.” Neji pauses for a moment. “The world will show her no mercy, Hinata. By coddling her, you will make her weak.”

“And b-by hurting her, I’ll make her afraid. I don’t…I don’t want to g-give her a reason to fear me, Neji.”

Left unsaid is the fact that they have the rest of their family to do exactly that.

“S-she has the r-rest of her life to b-become strong. She’s only _six,”_ Hinata continues, bunching her hands into fists. “I just w-want…I need her to know she has s-someone in this family on her side. Who w-won’t _ever_ harm her.”

“How very noble,” Neji says, a sardonic twist to his lips. “And you? The world is divided up into the strong and the weak, Hinata. By protecting your sister this way, you’re choosing to be weak. And as long as you continue to do so, you will _always_ be weak. Are you fine with that?”

Hinata doesn’t say anything for a long moment.

“If…if being strong means I h-have to h-hurt the people I care about…then yes, I would rather be weak,” she says finally, and for some reason it doesn’t feel like they’re talking about Hanabi anymore.

Neji scoffs, bothered by her answer in a way he can’t quite explain.

“You’re a fool, then. And you’ll die because of it someday,” he tells her. Unexpectedly, she smiles shyly up at him, causing him to blink.

“What?” He scowls.

“Thank you. For caring,” Hinata says, causing his expression to darken into a full-blown glare.

“I don’t care about you. I don’t even _like_ you,” he bites out.

“You cared enough to t-talk to me,” she says quietly, and he hates how grateful her tone is.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” he says, voice sharp enough to cut. _She_ didn’t mean anything, and no amount of conversation was going to change that.

“I know. But it means s-something to me.” Hinata looks down at her hands. “I-I know y-you may not c-consider me f-family anymore Neji, and I w-wouldn’t blame you if that were the case, b-but...but I hope you know that I’ll always s-see you as p-part of mine. And I h-hope that s-someday you f-find a family that makes you h-happy, even if…” She falters. “Even if I can’t be a p-part of it.”

Neji swallows and has to stop himself from taking a step back. He hates the brief lapse in his composure. He hates that Hinata can just _say_ things like that, so earnest and sincere, offering her heart up on a plate for him to do with as he likes. He hates that she’s nothing like the rest of their family, and he hates her softness and the way it doesn’t feel like weakness (even though it should, because what was softness if not weakness?).

Most of all though, he hates himself for not being able to hate her the way he wants to.

“You’re right,” he says, and hates the way his voice shakes. “You’re not my family. And you never will be.”

He catches a glimpse of Hinata’s hurt expression just before he turns around, and he presses his lips together as he leaves the room, the memory of it burned into his mind.

(He makes sure to avoid talking to her alone after that.)

* * *

When the examiner calls out his and Hinata’s name for the next match, it’s all he can do to keep his composure from slipping. He looks over at where Hinata is sitting with her team. Her face is pale, and her hands are trembling. She looks terrified.

It doesn’t make him feel as satisfied as he’d like.

* * *

The match should have been easy. It should have lasted all of two minutes, if that. After all, Hinata is weak, by her own admission, and she’s never been good at standing up to him. _It should have been easy._

Instead, as he watches Hinata struggle to her feet for the fifth time, he feels a mounting sense of frustration.

“You must know you stand no chance against me,” he says softly. “Give up. Save yourself some pain.”

In the distance, he hears someone—that loud, obnoxious, blond-haired kid—cheer Hinata on. She doesn’t look towards him though. She only has eyes for Neji right now.

“I’m s-sorry, Neji-niisan. I’m afraid I can’t do that,” she says, just as soft. His gaze hardens.

“Very well, then. So be it,” he says, and moves in. She manages to block his first two strikes but his third gets through, and she flies backwards, landing on her back. Red splatters her lips as she coughs weakly, clutching her side.

Neji walks towards her slowly, almost leisurely, until he comes to a stop a few feet away. He tilts his head to the side, regarding her.

“You’re pathetic,” he says dispassionately as he looks down at her. “Either fight to win or give up. Either way, stop wasting my time.”

Pushing herself to her feet with a pained grunt, she lunges at him. He sidesteps her attack easily, delivering another blow to her ribs.

“No, not like that. Fight me the way a member of the _Main House_ would,” he says meaningfully as she gasps for breath. “You know how to win, Hinata.”

Neji watches as comprehension dawns in Hinata’s eyes, her face turning an alarming shade of white.

“No,” Hinata shakes her head furiously. “No, no, I’m not going to—!" She throws herself back into the fight with a new fervor, pain seemingly forgotten. “No, I won’t, I—”

“What’s the matter?” He taunts her mockingly. “Didn’t you say you were going to give this fight your all? You know how to win. Prove that you’re not a failure. Prove that you deserve to be a member of the Main House. For once in your life, prove that you’re not a disappointment.”

“What’s he talking about?” The blond from earlier shouts down. “Hinata, if you know how to win, kick his ass! He deserves it!”

“No, no, no, I won’t do it,” Hinata mutters under her breath, sounding near tears. “Not like this. Not like this.”

“If you don’t, you’ll lose. Is that what you want?” Neji asks quietly. “To lose in front of your team and all your friends? To let them down after they believed in you?”

She lets out a choked gasp as he strikes her in the left side, and he doesn’t need to use the Byakugan to know that he’s just ruptured her spleen.

“Last chance, Hinata,” he says as she falls to her knees, eyes burning. “Use the seal. Show me your strength. _Make_ me bow to you.”

_Show me that you’re no different from the rest of the Main House. Show me I was right to push you away. Prove to me that you weren’t worth my father’s life._

She shakes her head wordlessly, tears spilling from her eyes.

“No. I-I choose to be weak,” she says resolutely, an echo of her words from over a year ago.

“So you choose death, then,” he says, jaw tightening. “Very well. So be it.”

“Wait!” Neji pauses, arm still poised to strike. His gaze flickers towards her hands—but they’re still by her side and she isn’t channeling chakra to form a seal.

“I just…I just w-wanted to t-tell you that I’m sorry.” Her words are low, nearly inaudible, and unexpected enough that Neji hesitates. 

“What our f-family did to you, did to your father…it was shameful. And it was wrong.”

Neji stiffens. It takes all his willpower to stop his hand from trembling.

“Stop talking,” he whispers. “I…stop talking.”

“You deserve better,” she murmurs, looking up again. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t be the one to give it to you.”

“If it weren’t for you, my father would still be alive,” he says, voice raw.

“I know.” There’s no condemnation in her gaze, only a deep sadness that’s somehow worse. “Would my death bring you peace, cousin?”

Neji hesitates. Then he slams his palm into her forehead and watches as she collapses like a broken marionette. 

* * *

Gai finds him standing outside the hospital after the fight.

“That last strike…you didn’t aim to kill,” he says.

“No,” Neji says after a long pause. “There was no point. It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

* * *

It doesn’t take long for Hinata’s teammates to come find him.

The Inuzuka charges up to him first, all unbridled fury and red-hot protectiveness.

“You fucking asshole!” He roars, swinging a fist at Neji’s face. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! She’s your cousin, you dick! How can you treat her that way?”

“I believe you’ll find that I acted in strict accordance with the rules,” Neji responds coolly, deftly dodging out of the way. “Serious injuries, even death, are allowed—”

“Yeah, against ninja from _other villages,_ bastard! Not against people from Konoha and _definitely_ not against people from your own family!”

“What happened between Hinata and I is none of your business,” he says icily.

“Yeah, well, Hinata’s my teammate so that _makes_ it my business,” the Inuzuka snorts. “And god knows she’s never gonna say this to you, so it’s up to me to do it. Look, your family’s fucked up—I know that, you know that, the entire goddamn village knows that. And I don’t blame you for being angry at them. But for fuck’s sake, that doesn’t give you the right to take your anger out on _Hinata_ of all people! Not when she’s only ever been kind to you!”

Neji stares at him stonily.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You have no idea what I’ve been through, so—”

“That’s true,” the Inuzuka interrupts. “I don’t know what you’ve been through and I don’t know _you._ I also don’t know the rest of your family. But I _do_ know Hinata and I know there is absolutely _no way_ she deserves your treatment of her. I know she’s spent the last six months, probably last six years working her ass off trying to learn _fuuinjutsu_ of all things for your sake, the most boring and difficult ninja art in existence, although she won’t say exactly what for. I know that she worries excessively about you because for some incomprehensible reason, she still gives a damn about you. And I _also_ know that you don’t hate her, you hate your clan, but you take your anger out on her because she’s _convenient_ and deep down, you know she’ll never hurt you. And the rest of Konoha can call you a genius all they like, hell, Senju Hashirama could come back from the dead and personally proclaim you a genius, but me? All I see when I look at you is a bully.”

The Inuzuka takes in a deep breath and pauses, looking at Neji expectantly. Neji isn’t paying attention to him anymore though, because—

“She’s learning fuuinjutsu?” He asks, stunned. The Inuzuka looks at him in disgust.

“ _That’s_ the part that stuck with you?” He throws up his hands in disbelief. “Figures. I spend all that time making up a great speech and—”

“You spent all of five minutes on that speech,” Hinata’s other teammate, the Aburame, says dryly. “How do I know this? Because that’s the length of time it took for us to track down Hyuuga-san and you made it up on our way here.”

“Hey Shino, how about you try not to kill my vibe for once in your life? I’m trying to be intimidating here!”

“Nothing I say could ever prevent you from looking intimidating, Kiba. Why? Because you were never intimidating to begin with.”

“I’ll kick your ass for that later but right now, I gotta go check on Hinata,” Kiba threatens, before glancing back towards Neji. “Look, I don’t know exactly what sort of bullshit is going on in your family, but next time, maybe be a little nicer to the only person there who’s on your side, okay dumbass?”

As they watch him leave, Shino speaks up.

“You don’t need to worry about Kiba. He’s very protective of Hinata but fundamentally, he won’t go against her wishes. If she doesn’t want him to go after you, he won’t.”

Neji scoffs, ready to make a disparaging remark. Before he can though, Shino interrupts him.

“Me, on the other hand,” Shino says coldly. “I’m not as kind as Hinata nor as forgiving as Kiba, I’m afraid.”

Neji laughs contemptuously.

“Do you really think you could win against me?” He asks. Shino considers him for a moment.

“In open battle? No.” He says. “But let me ask you this, Hyuuga-san. How many places do you think you could hide that an insect couldn’t get to you?”

* * *

Lee and Tenten look at him differently now. They don’t say anything, but he can sense their hesitation in the way they stop talking when he gets close, their disapproval in the way Lee stops challenging him to spars and Tenten stops rambling about her weapons to him.

He tells himself he doesn’t care what they think. He ignores the way the words feel like a lie.

* * *

It’s past midnight when Neji sneaks into Hinata’s room at the hospital. He hesitates, then reaches out one arm to shake her awake.

She opens her eyes blearily, then almost falls out of bed when she finds him looking at her.

“N-Neji-niisan?” Hinata stammers, eyes wide with panic. “W-What are you d-doing here?”

Neji looks down at her, face expressionless.

“When you refused to activate the Cursed Bird seal during our fight…was it out of pity?” He asks.

“I…no?” She asks, more confused than startled now. “I d-don’t pity you, N-Neji-niisan.”

“Then why?” He asks stiffly. “You must have known it’d be easier. Your father would have told you to do it. You could have finally earned his respect.”

She looks down at her hands.

“I t-told you before, Neji-niisan. If that’s what strength is, then…then I don’t want it.”

“What _do_ you want, then?” Neji asks, frustrated. “If not to be respected by our clan, what do you want?”

Hinata swallows.

“I just…I d-don’t want m-my family t-to be divided anymore. I don’t want them to be _afraid_ of each other anymore, and I d-don’t want them to have to h-hurt each other to be considered strong. I want everyone t-to be able to reach their potential no matter who they are. I…I want my family to be _whole_.” She pauses. “That’s what I want.”

For the first time since his father died, Neji looks at her, _really_ looks at her. Funny, he can’t find any hint of the weakness that had always seemed so prevalent before.

“If you become clan head, will you reunite the Main and Branch Houses? Will you abolish the Cursed Bird seal?” He asks lowly.

“I will,” Hinata says quietly. For once, there’s no hint of her trademark stutter in her voice.

“Alright then.” Neji closes his eyes for a moment and lets her words sink in. Then he opens them again.

“The way you are right now, there is no way you will become clan head,” he says bluntly. “Your grasp of the Gentle Fist is mediocre at best, you cannot say two sentences without stuttering, you cannot beat your own sister in a spar, and your own father does not respect you. The Elders will never elect someone so unsuitable to lead them.”

Hinata nods, looking back down towards her hands. He’s said nothing she doesn’t already know, after all.

Neji takes in a deep breath and hopes he doesn’t end up regretting this.

“On Monday, meet me at 8 a.m. sharp on training ground twelve. Take the rest of this week to recover—you’re going to need it,” he says abruptly and turns to leave.

Hinata looks up, eyes wide.

“Neji-niisan?” She asks uncertainly. He pauses, one hand on the doorknob.

“I’m giving you one chance. Don’t let me down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I like Naruto beating the sense into his opponents with his Therapy no Jutsu(TM), this is one conflict I'd have really liked Hinata resolve on her own. 
> 
> Anyway I wanted to keep the essence of Hinata as a character while also (hopefully) giving her a lot more depth. She’s the girl who stayed kind and gentle despite her entire family trying to get her to do the opposite and I feel like that kind of strength is so underrated in media nowadays. 
> 
> If you liked something, please leave a review! I would really appreciate it :)


	3. Chapter 3

When Kurenai learns about her team assignment, her first thought is, _This must be a mistake._ She’s confident in her own skills, she knows exactly how hard she’s worked to get this far, but…she’s also a new jounin. Moreover, she’s a _clan-less_ jounin. She’s not like Asuma, who, no matter how estranged, still has the Sarutobi name behind him. She’s not like Kakashi, son of the White Fang, student of the Fourth Hokage. Applying to be a jounin-sensei at all had been a long shot—at best, she’d been hoping for some middle-of-the-pack civilian kids that were _just good enough_ to pass.

Instead, she finds herself staring down at the files of Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata, and Aburame Shino.

_An Inuzuka, a Hyuuga, and an Aburame_ , she thinks to herself. And she knows, without even needing to meet them, that one day they’ll be Konoha’s top tracking team. 

They would be among the next generation’s best and brightest, with or without her. Konoha would expect nothing less. With their surnames, Konoha would _allow_ nothing less.

_Well then_ , she decides, and opens up the first file. _Better make it with me._

* * *

The first time Kurenai sets eyes on her team, Kiba is yelling at Shino for stepping on Akamaru’s tail, Shino is glaring down at the table in front of him, Akamaru is barking up a storm, and it actually takes her a moment to find Hinata because her female student has somehow withdrawn so much into the depths of her jacket that only the tip of her nose is visible.

There should have been a million thoughts running through her head but at the moment, all Kurenai can think is, _Oh boy._

* * *

Thankfully, introductions go a bit smoother. She isn’t surprised in the least when Kiba goes first without a moment’s glance towards his two teammates, just as she isn’t surprised to see Shino’s lips tighten momentarily when he does. Likewise, she isn’t surprised by the content of their introductions—neither Kiba nor Shino give anything new away, as they’ve no doubt been taught since the moment they learned to talk.

And then it’s Hinata’s turn to speak.

Kurenai lets her mind wander a bit, thinking back to what Hinata’s file had said about her. Her earlier instructors had been unimpressed, even disappointed with her performance, although their comments had been carefully neutral.

_Hyuuga Hinata has consistently scored in the top ten percent of her class on written exams and her taijutsu is above average._

Above average in taijutsu. For a Hyuuga, that was as good as having failed.

Umino Iruka’s evaluation had been kinder, making note of the fact that with a bit of self-confidence, he could see her having some real potential.

_Although unsure of herself, Hinata is a hard worker and she works well with others. She is polite, obedient, follows orders precisely, and—_

“I want to become a fuuinjutsu master.” Hinata’s voice, soft but clear, breaks through her thoughts. Kurenai blinks and looks up.

“A…fuuinjutsu master?” Kurenai echoes, caught off guard for the first time since they’d started speaking. Judging by Kiba and Shino’s expressions, she isn’t the only one.

“That won’t be easy,” Shino speaks up. He doesn’t sound doubtful though, only curious.

“I know.” If possible, Hinata’s voice grows even softer. Still, she doesn’t take her words back. “B-but…worth it, I t-think.”

“Hey, if that’s what you wanna do,” Kiba shrugs and grins at her. “This means we can get our sealing scrolls and explosive tags from you for free though, right? Teammate discount and all.”

Kurenai watches Hinata smile hesitantly back, her smile small and timid but there all the same, watches Shino roll his eyes at Kiba and Kiba shove him back (“Trust an Inuzuka to immediately jump to saving money. You do realize it takes years of experience to be able to design explosive tags, right?” “Well, _obviously!_ I meant _later,_ not now, I’m not an _idiot_ —“).

And she thinks to herself _, I can work with this._

(She carefully sets aside the question of why Hinata would want to get into _seals,_ of all things, for later.

The Hyuuga are a secretive clan, more so than most, and no one outside the clan itself knows exactly how the Caged Bird Seal works or what it does. Still, she can guess some of it and she has a sinking feeling she knows exactly why Hinata is interested in fuuinjutsu.

Kurenai thinks about Hinata’s status as clan heiress, how it’s her duty to uphold and preserve hundreds of years of tradition, about how the entire world is expecting her to take her father’s place someday. She thinks about what she knows of the Hyuuga Clan and its elders, and she imagines their reaction to being asked to _change._ And then she thinks back to Iruka’s evaluation and what she knows about Hyuuga Hinata.

And she mentally crosses _obedient_ off the list.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....looks like I'm continuing this :) I know this chapter is super short but I'm still busy with step 1 studying (I just felt like I needed to write something or I'd go insane and this is what came out). Next chapter will probably be more Kurenai POV and Team 8 bonding.
> 
> As always, if you liked something about this chapter, it would make my day to hear about it!


	4. Chapter 4

Hinata first meets Uchiha Sasuke at the age of two. They’re both the children of prominent clan heads, both already not as talented as they should be, and in another world, perhaps that would have been enough to create a bond between them. Then her mother dies, her father stops being able to look at her, and all of a sudden, _making friends_ becomes the least of Hinata’s worries.

* * *

The next time Hinata sees Sasuke is in the Academy. His eyes skim right over her, past her, through her—Ino and Sakura chatting cheerfully on one side, Naruto and Kiba arguing on the other. Hinata doubts he remembers her, which suits her just fine. It’s easier to be forgotten, she’s discovering.

Then the Uchiha Massacre happens. Whispers follow Sasuke everywhere now— _the last loyal Uchiha_ , people call him. They call him talented, gifted, genius, a true prodigy (the same things they used to call Uchiha Itachi, Hinata can’t help but note, as if they’re already desperate to replace him with a better, loyal version). They call him _lucky,_ for having survived.

Hinata looks at Sasuke’s empty eyes, the blankness in his face, the way he doesn’t laugh anymore, and she doesn’t think he survived at all.

For a moment, Hinata thinks about reaching out to him. Thinks about trying to ease some of his loneliness (as if she could), about letting him know she believes in him (as if her opinion matters). In the end, she doesn’t for the same reason she’s never reached out to Uzumaki Naruto all these years—she wouldn’t know what to say.

She’s never been good with words. Neji is proof enough of that.

That night though, she goes home and compiles a list of instructions on things she’s watched and helped Branch House members do over the years—basic housekeeping chores, easy recipes, the shelf life of different foods. Simple tasks, really, but judging by the protein bars she’s observed Sasuke eating for lunch every day this week, tasks she doubts anyone’s ever taught him. The whole thing takes less time than she expected—it helps that it’s not the first time she’s done this, she supposes—and the next day, she slips the booklet into Sasuke’s bag during lunchtime.

Two days later, she spots Sasuke eating a meal that looks like one of her recipes.

“You seem happy today,” Shino comments. “Did something happen?”

“N-not p-particularly. Just…happy.” Reaching into her pocket, Hinata pulls out a small drawstring bag and pours a few grains of sugar into her palm. She doesn’t have to wait long before one of Shino’s kikaichu peeks its head out from the inside of his sleeve, antennae twitching, before crawling over to her and settling happily into her hand. It’s quickly joined by two others and Hinata feels the corner of her mouth twitch as she feels them lapping at the sugar.

Shino tugs his collar up.

“You’ll spoil them if you continue to do that, Hinata,” he murmurs.

“S-Shino-kun has yet to stop me,” Hinata replies. At that, Shino lets out a huff that’s equal parts amusement and surprise. He follows Hinata’s line of sight, towards where Uchiha Sasuke is eating his lunch, and tilts his head consideringly.

“Funny how Uzumaki and the Uchiha have such similar tastes in food recently,” he says, tone noncommittal. Not for the first time, Hinata thinks Shino is far more observant than most people give him credit for.

Shino turns to look at her, expression indecipherable as always.

“Why hide it?” He asks.

Hinata looks down at her hands. She thinks of training scrolls containing Main House secrets, left out with deliberate carelessness for someone far more worthy than her to find. She thinks of a face so much like her own glaring at her during a thousand sparring matches, hating her for refusing to hit back.

“D-Do you think they’d accept my help if t-they knew it c-came from me?” She asks.

* * *

As far as studying places go, Hinata rather likes the Academy library. Specifically, she likes the archive section on the third floor that contains the records of all previous Academy students. Everyone knows that it’s just for show—nothing of importance is contained in those records, not even real names—and for that reason, no one ever goes there.

Which is why she’s so surprised when she sees Uchiha Sasuke crawling in through the window.

He freezes when he catches sight of her, expression uncharacteristically panicked.

“Um,” he begins. The question of why Uchiha Sasuke, of all people, is spending his lunch break climbing through windows is answered soon enough by a pair of familiar voices coming from outside.

“I think I saw him go towards the training grounds!” Sakura shouts.

“Are you blind? He clearly went towards the classroom!” Ino shouts back. “Sasuke-kun is so studious, he’s always studying even though he’s at the top of the class—”

Actually, Hinata was pretty sure that setting aside taijutsu scores Sakura was slightly ahead but she wasn’t about to bring that up now.

“History section,” Hinata blurts out. Sasuke looks at her, brow furrowed.

“What?” He asks, irritation quickly replacing his earlier embarrassment. Hinata flushes, ducking her head.

“I-If y-you…if you w-want s-some privacy, the h-history section on the second f-floor is—I m-mean, it’s almost always em-empty…” Hinata feels her face heat up even more, voice trailing off.

Sasuke blinks, a flicker of surprise crossing his eyes. 

“You’re not--?” He begins before cutting himself off, turning to leave. “Never mind. Thank you.”

This time, it’s Hinata’s turn to blink in surprise. _Thank you._ It’s been a while since anyone’s said that to her.

* * *

One week later, Hinata finds Sasuke back in the archive section.

“Um,” Hinata says when she sees Sasuke standing in the doorway, lunch box in hand. At the sight of her, the tips of his ears turn the faintest shade of pink.

“Sakura was studying in the history section,” he mumbles. “Ami was in the courtyard. Ino—”

“I-It’s okay,” Hinata interrupts. She has a pretty good idea why he’s here. “I d-don’t m-mind. R-Really.”

Sasuke hesitates before sitting down a few feet away. Neither of them talk the entire hour and when it’s time for their afternoon class, Sasuke packs up first and leaves without looking at her.

All in all, Hinata thinks, Uchiha Sasuke made for surprisingly good company.

* * *

Sasuke keeps showing up after that, even on days Hinata knows the history section of the library is empty and Ino and Sakura are too occupied with arguing with each other to look for him.

Honestly, Hinata’s not sure why he keeps coming back but she supposes there’s something to be said for the comfort of having a routine.

Two weeks into their silent lunches, Sasuke speaks up for the first time.

“You don’t like me.” It’s not a question but there’s a hesitancy to his tone all the same, almost like he’s testing the words out.

Hinata blinks and sets down her book.

“I l-like Sasuke-kun as m-much as anyone else,” she says after a pause.

“But not more.” He glances at her, a strange smile playing along the corners of his lips. “How come? I’m the _last Uchiha,_ after all.”

 _Because you’re hurting,_ Hinata doesn’t say. _Because you’re hurting so much that sometimes, it’s all I can see when I look at you._

It was the same way with Neji, Hinata thinks, a rare flash of anger coursing through her. Despite being a Branch House member—or maybe because of it—people couldn’t take their eyes off him. His pain only added to his appeal and she…she doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand how anyone could find pain attractive.

“S-Sasuke-kun has n-never wanted t-to b-be the last of his clan,” Hinata says softly, almost inaudibly, more to her bento box than Sasuke himself. “And so I r-refuse to let that be the reason I like him.”

Sasuke stares at her for a moment, expression unreadable, before turning back to his meal. He doesn’t say anything else the rest of the hour and for that, Hinata breathes a sigh of relief.

* * *

The next day, Sasuke greets her the moment she walks through the library doors.

“You. Spar with me,” he demands.

“P-Pardon?” Hinata stutters. Sasuke scowls, folding his arms across his chest.

“You’re second in our class when it comes to taijutsu,” he says. “I need someone to spar with outside of school and you’re the best option I’ve got.”

“I-I’m not…I d-don’t think—” Hinata stutters. “I m-mean, wouldn’t s-someone else be better?”

“Who else is there?” Sasuke asks impatiently. “The Akimichi only cares about food, the Nara only cares about clouds and naps, being around the Inuzuka and that dog of his will burst one of my ear drums, being around Naruto will burst the other one, and I am _not_ asking Yamanaka or Haruno about this.”

Hinata thinks about mentioning the fact that he forgot Shino, then takes one look at his irritated expression and privately decides to drop it.

“It’s j-just, m-my t-taijutsu isn’t—”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re a Hyuuga, aren’t you?” Sasuke interrupts.

She supposes that’s true enough. A Hyuuga, even a failed Hyuuga, is still a better sparring partner than most, after all.

“It’s settled then,” Sasuke says, taking her silence as agreement. “Five a.m., Academy training grounds. Don’t be late.”

* * *

Their first spar lasts all of twenty seconds.

“Stop.” Sasuke says, holding up a hand. Hinata shrinks back as he glares at her, a ferocious scowl on his face. “What are you doing?”

“I-I d-d-don’t—”

“Why are you holding back?” He demands. “What, you think you’re too good to spar with me?”

“I’m n-not holding b-back,” Hinata says, before holding back a wince. That didn’t sound convincing even to her.

Sasuke’s glare darkens.

“Look, if you _really_ don’t want to train with me, then just say so. Don’t waste my time like this.”

“I don’t m-mind training with you, Sasuke-kun,” she says honestly.

“Then what is it? You think I can’t handle—” He stops when he sees her shaking her head frantically.

That’s never been the issue. The reason she holds back has never been because she thought the person on the other side couldn’t _handle_ what she had to give. Neji, Hanabi…she’s never doubted how strong they are.

For a moment, Sasuke just stares at her, furious expression replaced by something more thoughtful.

“Look,” he begins haltingly, after a long pause. “I know…I know you don’t like it when you’re the center of attention. I know you don’t like people looking at you. But there’s no one else here right now, no one to look at you or judge you or punish you if you don’t succeed. It’s just us. So you—you don’t have to hide, okay?”

 _No one here to punish you if you don’t succeed._ No cold, merciless eyes watching. No consequences for failing.

(As long as Hinata always lost, there was no reason for anyone to threaten Hanabi with the Branch seal. As long as Hinata remained pathetic, there was no reason for anyone to grow alarmed over Neji’s repeated victories over her, for anyone to take a closer look at how quickly he was advancing.)

“Sasuke-kun is more p-perceptive than I realized,” Hinata murmurs, more to herself than anything. She thinks he hears her anyway, judging by the sudden red tint to the tips of his ears.

She straightens up, slipping back into the Gentle Fist stance.

“Alright, Sasuke-kun. N-No more holding b-back.”

* * *

It starts off as taijutsu only. Sasuke is the one to break that trend, on a day Hinata shows up moving a little more stiffly than normal, after she fails to duck a blow they both know she should have been able to dodge.

“Let’s do something different today,” Sasuke says abruptly, as Hinata lays on the ground trying to catch her breath, ribs protesting with every movement (Neji had been…determined, yesterday). “We have a history quiz next week. It would be better to study for that and work on taijutsu later.”

Hinata nods and finds herself pathetically grateful he doesn’t ask any questions. 

Their meetings turn into more generalized study sessions after that, everything from history to foreign policy to plant identification. And if the days they decide to take a break from taijutsu tend to fall on the days Sasuke shows up with dark circles under his eyes and fresh bandages on his knuckles, or the days Hinata shows up face taut with pain and wincing with every movement, well, then that’s between the two of them.

“You seem happy,” Kiba comments one Friday. “Fun weekend plans?”

“You c-could s-say that,” she murmurs and wonders when she started anticipating the weekends instead of dreading them. 

* * *

“So this is what you do in your free time,” Sasuke comments during one of their non-taijutsu days, peering over her shoulder.

“It’s g-good to have a hobby,” Hinata murmurs, carefully arranging the flowers in front of her. She’s not as good as Ino at coming up with floral arrangements but she likes to think she’s a close second.

“Hn.” Sasuke’s forehead furrows as he stares at the bouquet. “Who’s it for?”

“K-Kazuki-kun. It’s for his mother, she’s been s-sick for a while. These are the flowers he always picks up for her b-but he hasn’t had the time to do so lately,” Hinata explains, a soft smile on her lips. “I included some c-candy for his sisters too. Do you think he’ll like it?”

Sasuke blinks.

“Who’s Kazuki?” He asks blankly. Hinata resists the urge to sigh.

“He’s in our class,” she explains patiently. “He m-missed school three days this week to take care of his little sisters.”

“Hn. Don’t remember him.” Sasuke replies, pulling the gift basket towards him. “There’s—along with the flowers and candy, you’ve included this week’s homework assignments, readings with the relevant passages highlighted, and…is that zucchini?” He rifles through the gift basket with increasing incredulousness, before turning to look at her. “Why?”

“As I said. It’s good to have a hobby.” Hinata pauses. “N-Normally, my gifts are smaller,” she adds, embarrassed. “It’s…it’s like a g-game, of sorts. I…I try to find out what people l-like, what they want. What they need. And then I try my best to g-give it to them.”

“Hn.” Sasuke stares at her, dark eyes inscrutable. “I hope he appreciates this then.”

“If I do it c-correctly, then he won’t know it’s from me.” Hinata presses her lips together. “I don’t want…I don’t want h-him to feel like he owes me anything. It would ruin it.”

“Well, what about you then?” Sasuke asks, tilting his head to the side. “What is it you want? Need?”

Hinata bites her lip.

“To be able to make people h-happy,” she says softly. For her existence to bring joy to people, instead of anger, hatred, pain, disappointment—instead of her uncle’s death, her cousin’s grief—it was a simple thing, really. She has no idea why it’s so difficult to achieve. 

* * *

“Haruno,” Sasuke says decisively, voice only slightly garbled from the half-chewed pork bun in his mouth. “It’s definitely Haruno.”

Hinata hides her smile behind her collar.

“Sakura-chan does have a b-bit of a temper,” she agrees.

“And she’s definitely the most likely in our class to snap and murder someone. Probably Naruto,” Sasuke adds, leaning back against a tree.

Hinata supposes she can’t argue with that.

“Next one.” Sasuke picks up the next slip of paper from the pile. “Most likely to become chuunin first?” He pauses. “I’d say me.”

Hinata makes a small disagreeing noise.

“I s-say Shikamaru-kun,” she says. Sasuke coughs, whirling his head around incredulously.

“Seriously?” He demands, too surprised to be offended. “ _Shikamaru_?”

Hinata hums lightly.

“G-Going through the chuunin exams twice will be t-too troublesome,” she explains.

Sasuke smirks, an amused glint in his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll give you that. Okay—most likely to be best at infiltration?” He glances at her. “If it weren’t for the eyes, I’d say you. As it is…maybe the Aburame?”

Hinata smiles.

“Naruto-kun,” she answers simply. For the second time in two minutes, Sasuke chokes on his spit.

“You’re kidding,” he says flatly. “You think _Naruto_ ’s good at stealth? That loudmouth?”

“Isn’t he?” Hinata tilts her head to the side, not sure why he seems so surprised. “N-Naruto-kun is very good at hiding.”

“He wears bright orange!”

“And y-yet no one’s ever c-caught him setting up a prank,” she points out. “Only afterwards.”

At that, Sasuke falls silent.

“Sasuke-kun is also good at h-hiding,” Hinata says consolingly, then pauses. “Especially in libraries.”

Sasuke snorts, nudging her shoulder lightly with his.

“I could say the same of you.” He picks up the last slip of paper and hands it to her. “Last one. You read it.”

“Most likely to b-become Hokage,” Hinata reads out loud.

“Naruto,” Sasuke says immediately. At Hinata’s surprised expression, Sasuke shrugs. “He’s the only one who’s expressed an interest.”

Hinata thinks of Naruto’s repeated declarations over the years.

“He’ll do it. One day, Naruto-kun will become Hokage,” she says softly.

For a thousand reasons, Uzumaki Naruto would become the next Hokage. Because he was the type of person to never give up, even when things seemed hopeless. Because opposition only made him try harder. Because he was creative and hard-working and smarter than anyone gave him credit for. Because people would follow him even without him asking.

Because deep down, subconsciously, he’d convinced himself that becoming Hokage was the only way to gain true love and acceptance. And when it came down to it, what _wouldn’t_ a lonely orphan boy do for that?

* * *

The day they officially leave the Academy, Hinata finds Sasuke sitting on the library rooftop.

“Sasuke-kun should get a good night’s rest before t-tomorrow,” she murmurs.

“A little hypocritical of you, don’t you think?” He shifts aside to make room for her. “So. Team 8, huh?”

“Team 7,” she says back, and smiles a little. “Sakura-chan seems happy.”

Sasuke expression slips into a scowl and Hinata has to duck her head to hide a giggle.

“Don’t,” he grumbles. “I wonder if it’s too late to petition for a team change.” He glances at her. “What do you think? I wouldn’t mind being on Team 8. At least your sensei seems to show up on time.”

Hinata doesn’t respond. It’s a hypothetical question anyway. They both know the Hyuuga-Inuzuka-Aburame team arrangement has been set in stone since before they were even born.

“Give them a chance,” she says gently. “M-Maybe they’ll grow on you.”

Privately, Hinata thought being on Team 7 would be good for him. Neither Naruto nor Sakura were the type of people who’d leave him alone, or give him a moment’s peace, really. That was okay though—the last thing Uchiha Sasuke needed was to be left alone.

“And you?” Sasuke asks, a hint of something that might have been concern in his voice, had Uchiha Sasuke been the type of person to express concern towards another human being. “You’ll—you’ll be alright?”

Hinata thinks of how during the Academy tactical exercises, Kiba always checked—then double checked—to make sure no teammate was left behind. She thinks of how Shino counts his bugs every night to confirm that none are missing.

“Yes,” she says, without a hint of a tremor, and smiles. “Yes, I’ll be alright.”

* * *

In retrospect, Hinata thinks she should have expected Sasuke to come find her after her disastrous match against Neji. Still, she can’t deny the flicker of surprise she feels when she sees him standing in the doorway to her hospital room.

“Sasuke-kun?” She asks hesitantly. “What are you d-doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Sasuke scoffs. Hinata smiles slightly, looking down at her hands.

“It was n-nice of you to come visit,” she says shyly.

There’s a long silence.

At Sasuke’s lack of response, she looks up at him, worried.

“Sasuke-kun?”

“…why didn’t you tell me?” He asks tightly. “About your cousin. I thought we were—”

He cuts himself off, corner of his mouth twisting. “Why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

Hinata looks away.

“What c-could you have done?” She asks quietly. Sasuke’s hands clench into fists, knuckles white.

“I’ll make him pay,” Sasuke promises, eyes flashing red for the barest second. “I’ll make him pay for what he did to you. He shouldn’t— _family_ shouldn’t—” He swallows. “I don’t care that Naruto’s the one facing him next. I don’t need the excuse of an exam to go after him. He could have _killed_ you.”

“No.” Absently, Hinata wonders when she stopped being afraid to look Uchiha Sasuke in the eyes.

“ _No_?” Sasuke asks dangerously. Hinata shakes her head.

“M-My relationship with N-Neji-niisan…that’s between the two of us. No one else,” she says, back straightening. “It has to be me, Sasuke-kun. D-Don’t you understand? _It has to be me.”_

_I have to be the one to fix it or else it doesn’t mean anything._

Sasuke clenches his jaw, a muscle in his cheek jumping. Still, Hinata thinks, he of all people should understand where she’s coming from.

“Why don’t you hate him?” He asks after a long pause. “He’s hurt you all your life. You have every right to hate him.”

“And he has every r-right to hate m-me,” Hinata says quietly. “As for why I d-don’t hate him in return…” She swallows. “What happens if I turn against my cousin, Sasuke? The cycle continues. If I start resenting him, h-hating him…then I lose any chance of changing things for the better. I won’t let that happen.”

Sasuke stares at her for a long moment, expression unreadable.

“Your match today,” he says suddenly. “You fought well.”

“I—” Hinata stumbles over her words, surprised. “I lost.”

“Did you?” He asks neutrally. “Good night, Hinata.”

“Good night, Sasuke-kun,” Hinata murmurs. She waits until she’s sure he’s gone before lifting her pillow up, revealing a lone kikaichu hiding underneath.

Upon being discovered, the kikaichu twitches its antennae anxiously. Hinata hadn’t known it was possible for an insect to look sheepish but this one manages it somehow.

“It’s alright, I’m not angry. I know Shino’s just worried,” Hinata whispers, extending a hand in invitation. It doesn’t hesitate before crawling over and settling into her hand. “I’m fine. Sasuke-kun was just here to check up on me.”

Cradling the kikaichu in her palms, Hinata smiles to herself.

A Hyuuga friends with an Uchiha. Tradition would forbid it; her family would hate it.

She supposes it’s a good thing she’s never been one for doing things the traditional way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I a sucker for platonic Sasuke/Hinata? The answer is a resounding YES
> 
> Also if you liked my writing, please consider leaving a comment :)


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